In the last few weeks, three different women have expressed feelings of isolation in relation to their social status. Their reasons behind the detachment involved age, relationship status, number of children, age of children, job situation and so on. Life seems to balance seasons of bountiful friendships and crammed comradery calenders with seasons of starved social standings and loneliness. Although the latter of the seasons isn't near as fun, it seems to be an important part of spiritual growth to occasionally find yourself: the odd man out.
After the girls were in bed at Teen Challenge, I would float around in the pool looking up at the stars... wondering WHEN God was going to bring 'the' guy into the picture. I had just come out of one of the most fun semesters of my life- staying up late in the dorm- playing truth or dare, laughing with my girlfriends and stumbling to class the next morning because I so tired. And although I knew God wanted me to take this job, I now felt incredibly lonely. All my friends were busy dating and couldn't relate to the traumatic situations I was facing in my new job. The season of meeting 'the' guy eventually came and it was fun and exciting and all that I had dreamed of. But, in hindsight, I can't think of another time that I have grown closer to the Lord than in my time at Teen Challenge.
Years later... the very first pregnancy test turned positive. Jeremy and I had only been married six months and in a moment, our ability to pick up and hang out with our young married friends, was snatched. Although we had GREAT friends during that time... being the only couple with a child challenged our ability to fit in. In recent years, we found ourselves in transition yet again. We made a move from one state to another and socially- we were at the bottom of the totem pole. We spent many nights questioning our decision to move and wondering where we fit in to this new life we were trying to create.
Waves of loneliness just seem to be a part of life. I woke up in the middle of the night last night thinking of Sarah. She had longed for a child most of her life and at around 100 years of age, God gave her a baby. The Bible says that she laughed at the preposterous idea that she would have a child at her age. And yet, she found herself... mothering for the first time. If you've had the opportunity to have a child, you know that the first few weeks are absolutely overwhelming to a new mom. You are experiencing some of the greatest love of your lifetime, and yet you are totally overwhelmed at trying to figure out motherhood.
I imagine that while Sarah was amazed at what God had done, she was also experiencing some social starvation of her own. I mean, let's get real... what Mommy Monday group was Sarah going to get invited to??? I picture Sarah having questions, as most new moms do, and wondering 'who can I call?..... there's a 15 year old girl down the street that is married with children... but we have an 85 year age gap!!!' I picture Sarah being spit up on, dealing with a tantrum with Isaac in the middle of the town McDonald's and feeling totally alone as to how she fit in with other moms. But one thing I know that Sarah knew... is that child was promised!!! Isaac was the gateway into fulfilling the promises God gave Abraham. I also picture Sarah pressing in and drawing closer to God- focusing her energy on reveling in the amazing works of God in her life.
The fulfilling part of loneliness comes in your decision to draw closer to Him. The Bible says there is a friend that draws closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24); that He will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5); and the He knows that plans He has for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you (Jeremiah 29:11). The seasons of being the odd man out are usually opportunities to experience an astounding amount of spiritual growth. You may not see it until years after the season has passed, but loneliness can be an invitation for a rendezvous with the Lord. Trust that if life circumstances have left you out, God is providing for you a season to grow.
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