It may be cliche to say now that the news is out... but I knew the morning of my ultrasound that I was going to be faced with a test. A test to see how I handled the news that a 4th boy would be joining us in a few short months. My reaction to the realization that I was destined to remain the only girl in our household was key. No pink bows. No tea parties. No shopping buddy. This was the gulp I was going to have to gracefully swallow.
My track record in reactions is less than stellar. It doesn't take away from the fact that I love each and every boy in my house down to their toes... but it's no secret that I have always desired to have a girl. And as far as 'trying' for a girl... we haven't 'tried' for any of them... we have... what we like to call: fertility overdrive. So, the only plausible conclusion I can come to is that God has chosen each and every boy for us because they have a great and mighty destiny to live out. And we are blessed with the pleasure of being a part of who they become.
Anyway... getting back to the morning of the ultrasound... God had given me every possible sign that it was a boy. I had three dreams that I told my husband about before finding out anything. I dreamt that I had an ultrasound and when I looked at the screen, I saw that it was a boy before the nurse could say anything. My second dream was that I went to change my newborn's diaper and when I opened the diaper I said... "Oh my word, it's a boy!" My last dream stuck with me the most... I dreamt that I was speaking to a large crowd and I said, "I want to bring up the 4 most handsome men you have ever seen." And my four grown sons walked on the stage and I'm not gonna lie- they were STUDS!!!
So, when the ultrasound tech said... "Oh yeah, it's a boy," this was my chance to pass the test. I smiled and thought of each and every sweet little-man face I had waiting on me at home and knew it was going to be alright. I left the office feeling really good and met all my men for lunch to tell them the news. They were all a bit disappointed, but my cheerful attitude was rubbing off quickly. I think my husband was baffled as to why I was not crying like a basket case. But after lunch, round 2 of the testing began. You see, Satan does not relent easily. He wanted nothing more than to see me fail and throw one big pity party.
Our plan was to go to Target to buy the new baby a going-home outfit no matter what the news. The store has a section with some pink, some green and some blue outfits perfect for newborns. However, for whatever reason, the store had the whole aisle covered in pink outfits. No blue in sight. I thought, that's okay. I'll just go to the baby section and see what they have. I found a few boy items but nothing suitable for a newborn. And then all of a sudden, I did a 360- and I felt like I was surrounded by nothing but pink clothes. I couldn't find anything for my new little man and discouragement rushed in. My eyes filled up with tears. Here I was trying to be Ms. Positive and my breakdown was about to happen in the middle of Target.
I could hear Satan laughing at me... "You wanted a girl, but you didn't get it.... again!!! Hahaha" Hot tears started to stream down my face. He was right. I did really want to buy one of every pink item in sight. And then I thought... "What would kick the devil in the teeth right now more than anything else???" So.... out loud.... in the middle of Target.... I began to sing, "I will bless the Lord at all times. He's good!" And within seconds- Satan was forced to flee. What came rushing in after that was encouragement. A new outlook. And an "Ata girl" from my Maker.
Joyce Meyer once described God's reaction to her disappointment as this, "Every disappointment is an opportunity for reappointment." I think we can gather that disappoint WILL come. You will FEEL emotions. But your adaption to change is what is most important. When you don't get your way, how quickly will you adjust to reality? Psalm 18:30 says, "As for God, His way is perfect." My name wasn't inserted in that verse. Your name is not anywhere in that verse. All that is required is surrender on our part. We have to know that God works EVERYTHING out for our good!!! (Romans 8:28) So, after disappointment... Look Up! And know that He is good!!!
My track record in reactions is less than stellar. It doesn't take away from the fact that I love each and every boy in my house down to their toes... but it's no secret that I have always desired to have a girl. And as far as 'trying' for a girl... we haven't 'tried' for any of them... we have... what we like to call: fertility overdrive. So, the only plausible conclusion I can come to is that God has chosen each and every boy for us because they have a great and mighty destiny to live out. And we are blessed with the pleasure of being a part of who they become.
Anyway... getting back to the morning of the ultrasound... God had given me every possible sign that it was a boy. I had three dreams that I told my husband about before finding out anything. I dreamt that I had an ultrasound and when I looked at the screen, I saw that it was a boy before the nurse could say anything. My second dream was that I went to change my newborn's diaper and when I opened the diaper I said... "Oh my word, it's a boy!" My last dream stuck with me the most... I dreamt that I was speaking to a large crowd and I said, "I want to bring up the 4 most handsome men you have ever seen." And my four grown sons walked on the stage and I'm not gonna lie- they were STUDS!!!
So, when the ultrasound tech said... "Oh yeah, it's a boy," this was my chance to pass the test. I smiled and thought of each and every sweet little-man face I had waiting on me at home and knew it was going to be alright. I left the office feeling really good and met all my men for lunch to tell them the news. They were all a bit disappointed, but my cheerful attitude was rubbing off quickly. I think my husband was baffled as to why I was not crying like a basket case. But after lunch, round 2 of the testing began. You see, Satan does not relent easily. He wanted nothing more than to see me fail and throw one big pity party.
Our plan was to go to Target to buy the new baby a going-home outfit no matter what the news. The store has a section with some pink, some green and some blue outfits perfect for newborns. However, for whatever reason, the store had the whole aisle covered in pink outfits. No blue in sight. I thought, that's okay. I'll just go to the baby section and see what they have. I found a few boy items but nothing suitable for a newborn. And then all of a sudden, I did a 360- and I felt like I was surrounded by nothing but pink clothes. I couldn't find anything for my new little man and discouragement rushed in. My eyes filled up with tears. Here I was trying to be Ms. Positive and my breakdown was about to happen in the middle of Target.
I could hear Satan laughing at me... "You wanted a girl, but you didn't get it.... again!!! Hahaha" Hot tears started to stream down my face. He was right. I did really want to buy one of every pink item in sight. And then I thought... "What would kick the devil in the teeth right now more than anything else???" So.... out loud.... in the middle of Target.... I began to sing, "I will bless the Lord at all times. He's good!" And within seconds- Satan was forced to flee. What came rushing in after that was encouragement. A new outlook. And an "Ata girl" from my Maker.
Joyce Meyer once described God's reaction to her disappointment as this, "Every disappointment is an opportunity for reappointment." I think we can gather that disappoint WILL come. You will FEEL emotions. But your adaption to change is what is most important. When you don't get your way, how quickly will you adjust to reality? Psalm 18:30 says, "As for God, His way is perfect." My name wasn't inserted in that verse. Your name is not anywhere in that verse. All that is required is surrender on our part. We have to know that God works EVERYTHING out for our good!!! (Romans 8:28) So, after disappointment... Look Up! And know that He is good!!!
You got it girl!! ...at ALL times HE *IS* good!
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